When you realize divorce is the only logical way forward for your relationship, you have to remember that it will be stressful for everyone involved, not just you. This especially applies to your kids, who may not immediately realize what’s happening. When something shifts in the family dynamic, you should address it promptly. Getting divorced might be better for your kids. A Kentucky divorce lawyer can help.
What Is the Smarter Option?
Understanding what the smarter option may be for you and your partner is not always easy. Divorce is different for everybody. There are people all over the world who suffer severe marital strife but don’t end up divorcing. They decide in the end that it is better to stay together for the sake of their kids than to force them to endure a broken home. Eventually, you and your partner might reach this same conclusion. However, that’s not a guarantee, and bonds don’t always strengthen.
In many other cases, choosing to stay together for the sake of the family unit may be the worst decision you could make for your kids. Choosing to endure an unsustainable marriage can lead to increased feelings of resentment, anger, guilt, tension, and even rage at your spouse. You may blame them for your current situation, and that blame can be felt by your kids. In the end, choosing to stay married might lead to far more problems than choosing to get divorced.
Every kid deserves to grow up in a home with two loving parents who don’t despise each other. Growing up in a negative environment can impact your child’s views on relationships, give them trust issues, affect their outlook on life, and even grow to resent their parents for exposing them to toxicity instead of just letting it go. It’s much more effective for your kids’ upbringing to work together with your spouse on a co-parenting plan and not let your kids shoulder your pain.
The Risks of Staying Together
When two parents fall out of love and choose to end the marriage instead of remaining in a broken relationship, kids are often much better off. Now, they have two parents who made the decision to prioritize their well-being and be a stronger co-parent instead of a weaker spouse. Being honest with your children about a divorce is important. You don’t have to tell them all the details, but they should know what’s going to happen to you and your spouse.
Ultimately, it is your choice whether or not to involve your kids in this discussion. If you choose to remain married and try to preserve the family unit, here are some of the risks you may have to come to terms with:
- Parental alienation. When a marriage is on shaky ground, and both parents are trying to become the “favorite” of their kids, it can start to foster a very unstable and toxic dynamic. You could end up dealing with parental alienation, which occurs when one parent tries to turn the child against the other parent using gifts, threats, and even lies. If you stay in a broken marriage, your spouse might turn your child against you.
- Toxic relationship models. If you choose to stay in a broken marriage for your child’s sake, you could be exposing them to toxic relationship models. Children often look to their parents as models for how to act in life and how to perceive relationships. If they grow up surrounded by toxicity and negativity, they will bring those traits into their own relationships and start to foster resentment and pain of their own.
FAQs
Q: Who Decides Child Custody in Kentucky?
A: Ultimately, the judge presiding over your case is the one who has the final say over child custody in a divorce case. The court’s job regarding child custody is to do whatever they feel is right for the child’s welfare, regardless of your or your spouse’s desires. The judge has to consider both parents’ histories, health, and relationship with the child in question. You and your spouse can build a parenting plan together that the judge may consider.
Q: What Exactly Is a Contested Divorce?
A: A contested divorce is the unfortunate result of a marriage that has grown toxic, resentful, and painful. Neither party is willing to compromise on anything, and the court must make decisions for them on asset division, child custody, and even spousal support. Contested divorces are often expensive, emotional, and long. You are going to want to hire an experienced divorce lawyer to represent you during your case.
Q: Do Most Divorces Go to Trial in Kentucky?
A: No, most divorces do not go to trial in Kentucky. The majority of divorce cases are decided out of court through mediation or collaborative divorce. Most uncontested divorces do not ever see the inside of a courtroom, as they are decided amicably and often without the help of lawyers. A divorce only has to go to trial when both parties are uncooperative and hostile, and a court is the only entity that can make decisions for them.
Q: How Does Infidelity Affect a Kentucky Divorce?
A: Since Kentucky is a no-fault divorce state, adultery really shouldn’t affect the outcome of your divorce. You don’t need to prove any sort of wrongdoing in order to get a divorce in Kentucky. However, adultery can impact a judge’s view of the offender and might affect the amount of alimony they receive, especially if they used marital assets to fund their infidelity.
Reach Out to a Divorce Lawyer
It can be hard to decide whether to stay together or divorce when you have kids. Either way, you may feel like you’ve made a big mistake. It’s important to prioritize your kids’ mental health during your divorce and focus on making sure they are taken care of. At Stange Law Firm, we can help you make a parenting plan and ensure you aren’t taken advantage of during the process. Contact us to speak with someone on our team about your case.
